1/25/2007
If I die in Iraq
American Soldier says,
I know this mindset.
I stumbled across this video this morning and it really brought me back. While holding my baby daughter in my arms I clicked on this video. I’ve never really spoken or written of the day I got hurt. The exact details and what happened to me when it actually happened still embedded in my brain. I’m talking about the spiritual event that occurred at the very moment of the explosion. Beyond the pain it was the mindset and feeling that I was about to leave my body and move on. The visions in my mind were quite peaceful and reassuring that it was ok. Not many people have had a near death experience and come back to tell about it. I’ve kept it sort of private because I didn’t really know how to describe it.
So I clicked on this video and literally found myself tearing up and remembering my moment. The day that my world was turned upside down. A warm morning in Ramadi. In what was probably seconds these were my thoughts.
If my writing seems scattered just bear with me and just try to envision it with the images you see in this video. Ok here goes. I had these images of my wife. Her holding our first baby girl the day she was born. A certain walk in the park that only she would remember. The smiles of our children while taking a picture at an apple orchard that we go to every year. A certain lazy Sunday, when it was not full of war. And one memory I will just keep to myself.
These thoughts all came to me in silence and in slow motion. I heard nothing during this moment. When I came to, the sound of the yelling, the sounds of the gunshots, and the sound of the helicopter coming to get me. All the images in this video brought it all back. I found myself watching it over and over and every time a knot would begin in my throat and my eyes glistening.
I am glad that I found it and I hope the man who made it never has to see this in his own vision.
Godspeed!
Click the ‘more’ link to see video
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53 Responses to “If I die in Iraq”
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Pass the tissue, I have visions for 1968, they never go away. Thank you for your service. Sorry i have to stop and cry.
Pass the tissue, I have visions for 1968, they never go away. Thank you for your service. Sorry i have to stop and cry.
For now and until the day that I die, whenever I see servicemen and women I stop and shake their hand and feel honored to be in the presence of a TRUE HERO.
God Bless You
OMG… ok, NOW i’ve watched the video… and the screen is blurry and the keyboard is all wet…. and I have no words, only (((((HUGS)))))). Some things just can’t be conveyed by “words” and it takes a “hug” to get the meaning across, you know… so… ((((((MEGA-HUGS))))))
Oh yeah… forgot to say…Thank you for sharing both the video and especially your thoughts with us… thank you for giving us a glimpse of your world… know that you are appreciated and in our prayers, always.
I think each of us thinks of our family when the thoughts of dieing in Iraq enter our minds…I pray I will never know that day… and I mourn for those that have…the will to live, the will to see your son and daughter again with all their beauty can carry through the most horrific of wounds……………..sometimes..Semper Fi
We confuse celebrities with heroes. The true hero’s are those who are willing to put their life on the line, whereas celebrities all they put on the line is a photo-op.
This video strikes home. Thanks to AS, his lovely wife and new child, and the rest of our Hero’s. I also will never forget the ones who never made it home alive, and the families and friends they have left.
If given a choice, I would rather be around AS than any of the celebrities. I am in the presence of a Hero.
My dad came back from Viet Nam, twice, alive. His work over there was wasted by politicians over here.
We live in a world of today, that doesn’t think about the cost of not fighting.
the American Soldier in Iraq fights a noble cause: freedom of others, safety for us.
I don’t believe the blow-hards that say we are incapable of victory. May they not waste the lives that have lost their futures for the sake of ours.
*smile*
Thank you, AS. I know that video was painful for you… but I’m hoping that it’s healing too, as you sit there with your new baby, knowing that you and your family are safe and together.
I thought about the things I might see, and it goes something like this: Seeing the birth of my two boys; laying across my Grandmother’s lap as a child, as she scratched my back; a meeting in the San Antonio airport; a parkbench in New York City, in the shadows of the former WTC’s; the rush I felt getting my first financial license; seeing the pleasure in my son’s eyes as he pitched his first strike-out; my younger son’s laughter and silliness; the touch of My Man’s fingertips on my skin; my Mom.
All things I hold precious… nothing more than a memory, flashing before my eyes. All things that mean everything to no one but me.
We’re glad you’re here, AS. Thanks for sharing this with us.
AS, I just watched your video. It is poignant and the shots of your kids blended with the violence is telling. In a world where we search for love and try to create a world of anticipation for our offspring, the violence is telling. There are forces, denied by our celebrities and press, that long to keep us from saving or offering the dream to those we love most. Our stars claim some psuedo-intellectual superiority now, where our celebs at one time fought beside us. Look at the list of stars who fought during WW2 and even Korea. Today, Jane the traitor Fonda reared her repugnant voice again in DC and of course the press loved it and are now in the process of updating Hanoi Jane to Iraqi Crackie Jane. Put her back in her hole, in the backseat with her limo driver between trips to whatever she told Ted she was doing. That is her only value. The true heroes, those who should be emulated in our country are the guys and gals like you. You are special and undervalued. My cousin’s son was shot in Iraq this week. He is in Germany and doing okay according to information we received last night. I hope Hanoi Jane never has to visit any of you guys in POW camps. If she does count on her holding the video camera for those who would torture. That is our celeb today.
Mike G — you are right. In Nam we never lost a battle but lost a war. Thank our politicians and the press. They both demoralize and get soldiers killed with vascillating support, then claim some moral high ground. Thank you for caring.
AS, that was an awesome demonstration of what it was like for you. I know how had that was for you. Thank you for sharing your pain and your joy. God Bless you and yours. Thank you so much for your service.
AS, Thank you for all you do. I think that the media and other people may have forgotten how important it is that soldiers are defending us. I also pray for you guys everynight for your safety and return. I believe in everything that soldiers do and i hope that media will not damage your spirits and there are lots of people who believe in what soldiers are doing and there are a lot of people who love you.
Thanks for defending us and some people did not and will not forget what you/we are fighting for. Love you guys/gals and I dont know how to express enough the respect and gratefulness that I have for The American Soldiers. The true Heroes of America. Thanks
Thank you to all the soldiers in America, without you i wouldn’t have a dream. you inspired me and the rest of the Nation and all i can say is thank you for all you have done….
Thank you for posting the video.
As an Army wife and sister as well as a daughter and granddaughter of vietnem vets, I think it is actually important for the citizens of the U.S. to witness what life is like for our spouses, our brothers and sisters, our daddies and mommies, our family and friends. There is nothing I treasure more than my freedom and the lives given to preserve it.
Godspeed.
wow. that was powerful.
Very touching. One picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a life time. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, and that video. What a perfect reminder for us of (1) the sacrifices made every day by our servicemembers, and (2) the reason why you, and they, are willing to put on the uniform and go into danger …. so that your children and ours will have a good world to grow up in.
I would just like to say thank you for keeping my freedom safe. I know there are a lot of prople that do not agree with the war, but what was the US to do. Sit back and let them come after us. I think not. I wish we did not have to ba at war, but we are.
I would also like to say thank you to the family that have someone fighting for our country. Thank you for supporting and standing by them. I’m sorry that you have to go through letting them go off to war, but there fighting for the better good.
God Bless the families that have lost a member of their family. Thank you so very much and sorry for your loss. Wish there was something i could do to ease your pain, but is there anything anyone can do?
I have a cousin that was supost to go over but he had some help problems so he is in the states for now.
your video is so touching and prowering. I wish there was more people like the USA soldiers in the world. They are not selfish. They are willing (god forbid) to give their life for the us.
I wish there was something I could do for the soldiers or just one soldier, to show how thankful I am to them. We all owe them so much.
God Bless
Nikki
Web Reconnaissance for 01/30/2007…
A short recon of whats out there that might draw your attention….
i’m a veteran of the war in iraq. regardless of everyone’s opinion i have seen what the real iraqi’s think of us. to my dying breath i will try to make their life beter. if anyone questions my beliefs, you can e-mail me at timbertipper1@yahoo. com.
sincerely,
SGT. PETER J. SCOTT
133rd CBT ENGRS
.
Sgt Scott: THANK YOU, sir, for your service and dedication to our country. Know that we appreciate you and are proud of you.
Dear AS,
I know that we as Americans could never repay any of our brave Service Members for the selfless sacrifices each one of you and your families have endured and continues to endure each day.I pray that the knowledge that so many of us back here in the States do what ever we can do to support each one of you be it writing,sending care packages or just holding each one of you in our thoughts and prayers daily helps in some small way…
Your Service and Sacrifices and that of your fellow Service Members both past and present are greatly appreciated and will never be forgotten.
God Bless each one of you and your Families
Sincerely
Cathy Renaud
Massachusetts Soldiers Angel
Moon:My thoughts and prayers are with your Cousin,Her son and your Family for a complete and speedy recovery.
SGT Scott:Bless you and Thank you for your Service each one of you has brought hope to the future generations that one day God willing will not have to grow up with such hatred in their hearts…
Here, Here, Kat!
I’ll raise my mug to ya any day, Sgt.
I would like to say on behalf of my family and our community thank you and every troop that has and will fight for our freedoms. I know the pain this causes me to feel. I can not even relate to the feelings you endure.
May God Bless our Military and Strenghten them each and every moment.
Mona Johnson
Proud Mother of Sgt.Moore recently returned from Iraq
Blue Star Mother of Piedmont Lakeland Areas
Thank you for this AS ~ bless you! And your family.
If I could, I would wrap these army mom arms around you all ~
Sgt Scott - there are no words so I give you A thank you from my heart.
Have to go get several tissues now…
Soldier,
I just wish this video was picked up by the mainstream media, but it never will be because it doesn’t serve their needs. Outstanding work! It brought back many times that I thought I’d never see my kids again.
Thanks for sharing the thoughts! The nation you serves will never forget your contribution.
15 Questions with Ranger and Special Operations legend, Col. Keith Nightingale…
With everything going on in Iraq and the Global War on Terror (GWoT), I wanted to get the impressions of an expert whose opinion I trusted. So, I chose the finest officer and warrior (and my former commander) I’ve ever…
Thank You, AS. For sharing this and your thoughts with us, and for going and doing at the risk of your life. You are Always appreciated. Congratulations on your new little miracle!
As I read the posts here and from other soldierbloggs…… all I feel is sadness.
I’m sorry these things have to happen, but one question remains:
How can you people even think this war is a just one?? Did you learn nothing from Vietnam or Korea?
Your government lied to you about the WMD’S. They lied about contaminated weaponry, and they bought the lives of young men and women who are bearely out of their teens.
I served with the British taskforce (2nd Irish Brigade) during WWII, taking Eindhoven, and I know a thing or two about fighting a stubborn enemy I can tell you that, but………this war in Iraq has nothing to do with the struggle for freedom, just as Vietnam had nothing to do with preventing a left wing expansion in a free world.
There is nothing to be gained when you fight an enemy who wants to die…..
Learn from history while you can.
I wish all of you the best of luck.
Stay alive
//Al
Al,
Go fuck yourself!
I normally have alot of respect for my elders but if you said that to my face I’d honestly hip check your ass into the closest wall!
I never understood the term IED..I mean nothing inprovised!
Semper Fi Brother, and thanks for visiting My Point. It is an honor!
Congratulations on your new daughter! Thank you for sharing this video, and your feelings about it. You are truly a blessing.
Sgt Scott - God bless you, and thank you for your service and honor.
From a non-military person to you all in our military; Our military is made up of some of the very best of us. Hands down. You are truly our treasue, and America would not long exist without you. God bless and protect our troops!
The American people have lost faith in Bush they do not support the war.
John,
Thank you Captain Obvious! It’s no secret that they have. It’s very unfortunate that the american people are not getting the truth from the MSM.
To Whom it May Concern,
I thought you might find it interesting that your website designer thought it appropriate to address a decorated Army officer in the manner that follows. I was personally offended and I thought that you might be also. What follows is an unaltered series of emails spurred by Chad’s use of the term “served” in reference to a documentarian that went to Iraq for a few months. It’s a simple matter of terminology but one that is important to myself and my comrades. Thanks for your time.
1LT John McRae
>From: Chad
>To: “1LT John McRae”
>Subject: Re: Website Feedback
>Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2007 16:58:19 -0800 (PST)
>
>Greetings John,
>
>First off, it wasn’t Pat who used those words. It was I, Chad, his
>webmaster and firm supporter. And this response is entirely of my own
>accord.
>
>Pat actually suggested to use the words “patrolled with and filmed”, but I
>told him to use served. Because thats exactly what he did. I don’t need to
>sign a contract with uncle sam in order to serve my country. No American
>does.
>
>The guys who took down the terrorists on Flight 94 over Pennsylvania
>served their country, and they didn’t need to be in the military.
>
>
>Here’s Pat, gettin blown up by IED’s, while volunteering to travel down
>the worst parts of Iraq for 7 months just so he can come back and paint
>you in a good light, unlike the MSM… and all you can do is badmouth
>him???
>
>I ain’t a soldier. My brothers are. My father and grandfather were. I have
>plenty of respect for a soldier, and I would have been one if I was able.
>
>But after reading this feedback, I would say that you are the self-serving
>one, so high up in your tower.
>
>Chad Coleman
>Frontier Web Design
>http://frontierwebdesign.com
>
>
>
> >
> > 1LT John McRae wrote:
> >>From your website: “Pat Dollard as told by the Marines he served with.”
> >
> > In what capacity did you “serve”, Pat? As an 11B? 21B? 18A? Or did you
> > roll
> > into country, cruise around a little bit, get some footage, and head back
> > stateside to wrap it all up into a neat little package for Maxim Magazine
> > and
> > your vanity documentary? To “serve” is to place oneself in a position
> > subservient to a greater thing. In my case and in the respective cases of
> > my
> > fellow soldiers, we’re serving the United States. You serve yourself.
> > This
> > may seem like a nuance or a simple matter of verbiage but to us it is how
> > we
> > define ourselves. I welcome your thoughts on this matter.
> >
> > Website:
> >
John,
I will say that Chad is a personal friend of mine. I think he was quite tactful towards you. The fact of the matter is Pat Dollard went to Iraq to create a documentary because he was sick and tired of what the MSM was dishing out to the public.
Now he went and he was embedded and he did film those Marines. Although not using a weapon, he used that camera to tell the truth. He nearly gave his life in the process.
He’s got balls and I respect the man for doing that. He could of just left….but he didn’t. Says alot about him by that alone.
Now he does have contacts and he will release a great documentary about his experiences. If it brings him more wealth and fame, so be it. He is going to tell the story that isn’t being told. That’s all I care about!
Haha. I only wish you could have heard this guy when he called my phone.
AS … Thanks for posting this video! This
is 4U! I’m buyin’.
I was never in the military and sometimes I wish I were. The camaraderie and friendship I’ve seen seems to be awesome.
I, for one, am grateful
for those men and women in all branches of our military.
FYI - There is no such thing as an “anti war” or “Peace” crowd. These people just fight for different things.
Oh, yeah, BTW “Al” … at least the Iraqi people are FREE of Sadaam and Uday and Qusay and Al-Zarqawi, et al; but I guess you probably condoned their ways. In your world, everyone deserves freedom except for the Iraqis, and vietnamese, and whoever you see fit to grant freedom to as long as it doesn’t cost YOU anything!
Perhaps this is the wrong forum for this; however, I’m trying to find out some information from guys currently serving. Last night, I watched a program on the History Channel where certain missions which took place in Falujah in 2004 were re-enacted. First off, I’m a retired infantry soldier and served as a squad leader as well as a platoon sergeant. What struck me while watching last night was the number of times a single, individual soldier would enter a building occupied by insurgents while the remainder of the squad or platoon remained outside the building pulling security. Usually, the person entering the building was an E6 or above. Is this current doctrine or what? I stressed to my soldiers they NEVER went anywhere individually; at least one other soldier would always be with anyone at any given time. I always believed in overwhelming firepower and fire and manuever to defeat the enemy. I realize this was television and actors; however, unless the History Channel is way off base, they try to be historically correct. And, in the case of last night, it wasn’t just one unit and it wasn’t just the Army. Marines also were involved and they fought the same way. Can someone please enlighten me?
SFCJon,
I’ve seen that show as well and I sort of laughed when I saw the lack of ‘real’ tactics that were displayed. It is not standard or doctrine to go in a house alone or have the SL go in alone. This is just far from the truth. Although urban combat is not always stacking on a door, there is still a way of doing things the right way.
hmmmmm…weapons of mass destructions seems to be the the question of the century regarding the war in Iraq. I don’t know who is talking to whom and what pictures are being being withheld or being labled as topic secret….but i have had conversations with several soldiers from the first storm to in 2003 and some say that they have personally seen WMD and others say they have seen the pics.
As for me, I have sen the pics…but I identify a missel from an IED from a WMD
Yea… Bush is such a huge liar… there are no WMD’s in Iraq. Which makes all the democratic leaders liars as well.
But I still think there were and are, from photos I’ve seen.
I feel bad for that guys future spawn. I wouldn’t come within a mile of those containers.
Chad you know people are going to claim these photo’s are fake. No one will ever believe it at this point.
I personally know two soldiers who came back home with cancer - the only cause the docs can think of for the aggressive forms of cancer they had was from chemical exposure.. you know, to all those freaky chemicals that aren’t there…. (thankfully, both are doing alright). And then there’s the guy who developed a freaky skin rash while in the sandbox - and it still plagues him to this day and docs can’t figure out why it’s there and what caused it.
Nope, move along folks, nothing to see here, nope, not a chemical anywhere….
I’m an army wife. My husband just left for Iraq ten days ago. After drying my eyes, I sat and thought for awhile. I know what my hubsand would see in that moment. As I watched, I thought of our two children, and all the joy and laughter and love they bring us. They somehow soften my husband. And I think of all the children in Iraq that my husband is fighting to protect and bring freedom to.
I also remember seeing my father cry when he would remember his fallen commrades in Nam. I remember the stories he told me. I remember his Vietnamese friend from Nam who lost his entre family to that war.
I pray that my husband won’t have to see his children and wife in glimpses as he lay wounded or dying.
Thank you for posting this video, and thanks to all who support our troops and those who serve. God Bless you all.
Angelique Stevens
http://myspace.com/justanangel
To Every Military Person serving in Iraq and elsewhere in the Middle East, The American People are proud of you and thank you. This is all such a big lie..much information not revealed to US citizens…we never see bodies coming into Air Bases. The same old footage is run over and over by the Media, they are cow-towing to This Sinful Administration……I am so sorry and so ashamed!
I LOVE AMERIKA AND THE US ARMY US GIs
USA WORLD POWER
HALLO AMERICAN SOLDIERS,
I.M DAVID FROM GERMANY I,M BIG FAN OF AMERICA AND US ARMY .
I LOVE AMERIKA AND THE US ARMY US GIs
USA WORLD POWER.
GOD BLESS AMERIKA
MY EMAIL : georgewbush@o2online.de
I’m from Iraq, 30 M.
We hope that you will go back safe to your families, but not now, we need you so bad to help us now, we cant do it alone.
Thanks and god protect you, we will do our best to help you, as you are helping us.
To the victory inshallah.
After coming back from a place where I had to lay on my back and in a coma for one year and half. Living in a world I could not recall other then the nightmares of another time. I looked back and saw myself at the helm of many of the nightmares. Going into the the services at 17 years old I would not change anything other one thing. The one thing which I would change if I had the gift from above is one word WAR. Nobody wins in this many foes suffers from the force of another. I am retired now from the US NAVY and work within a state goverenment system now. However, I can remember all the support for my brothers and sisters when they was going off to give the greatest gift to another. I saw flags waving in the wind. Nothing but support for the force which was going to be unleased on another. But if I can not have the gift to change a word then I wish to ask for prayers for both sides to who ever attempts to support a prespective not their own but they do it to support a way of life. As you look at the video above please remember somebody is always on the other side of something which was invented to do some good not harm. This might seem like a rant to many of the computer people or some who might have done a few years but from a person with more fruit salad for both sides with one on top. Maybe you understand maybe you don’t sorry for the ones who don’t